hold onto me (because I'm a little unsteady)
by hartslyrics
Summary: she tucks her head into his neck, and knows this is as close to having him as she'll ever get / or Cheryls' feelings towards Archie Andrews


**Disclamier: I do not own riverdale nor the characters**

 **enjoy :)**

* * *

Her heart tumbles to the ground on the snowy night.

Cheryl kissed him, because she had wanted to, she kissed him because she couldn't help herself, she kissed him because she wanted to _feel_ again. She had hoped he had felt something towards her, even a fracture of what she felt would have been good enough. He had given her too much false hope, she supposes. He had listened to her, stuck up for her, and even had come to the dinner and followed her when she ran outside.

Apparently she had been reading too much into things, because the moment she had pressed her lips against his, the moment she had tasted a little bit of heaven, he pulled away. The look that he gave her afterwards, immediately made her regret it.

"What are you doing?" He asked, tone filled with slight confusion, surprise, and disgust. She couldn't look at him. Hearing his voice already felt like he was twisting the knife in her heart more so, she couldn't imagine how looking at him would feel. She felt the pain of the rejection start seeping through her bones, and she couldn't let him see how vulnerable she was. How much this was starting to hurt her. She instead replied with a witty remark, still not daring to look straight at him.

"My lipstick 'Maple Red', by the way, in case you were wondering why it tastes so sweet." She finally looks into his eyes and she hates herself the minute she does, because her heart pounds faster despite the dumbfounded expression on his face. He stares at her for a few moments, before abruptly turning around and walking away. He doesnt even look back, and that's when the waterworks start. She put her heart out for him and he just smashed it. Her heart clenches in pain, and this is why she never relied in anyone beside her brother. She wants to scream in agony, but she doesn't. She knows deep down she deserves this.

So she wipes her eyes and heads inside and hopes everything will get better.

* * *

It doesn't.

In fact things get so very far from better, she almost laughs at that thought. Her father not only killed himself, but her brother as well. Her mom doesn't even care about her father's passing nor how much she's fucking suffering in silence.

Oh, and one more thing, Archie's dating Veronica, and it fucking _hurts._ She didn't even try and he just picked her. The world isn't done fucking with her, she figures. It's then she just gives up, because she can't take it anymore. She's completely alone, and no one would miss her anyways. Not with the way she treated everyone else.

 _Maybe her mother was right, her father had the right idea when he took his own life._

She sends out a text to him and his group of friends, because during the times they thought she wasn't horrible, they tried help. They tried to sympathize with her, and she couldn't thank them enough. She thinks about sending him a private message filled with her feelings towards him, but decided against it. Afterall she didn't want him to feel awful, and think this was his fault. She couldn't do that to him.

She wants to be with her brother, so that's where she goes to end it all. She's on her hands and knees, digging into the snow, and smashing the ice below her, hard enough so that she'll fall through it. She's shaking, and she knows how this ends, when she hears voices screaming at her. "Cheryl!" "CHERYL STOP!"

She hears them talking, but her body's shaking, and her head is screaming way too loud, for her to even try to understand what they're saying. She hears the plead from the raven-haired girl, "Cheryl, _please._ "

Her body aches, but she slowly stands up and turns around. Her breath catches in her throat once she sees him, she doesn't say anything. She can tell Veronica is saying something, but she's too focused on the boy that's standing in front of her. Its a moment of slience, words only being expressed through her eyes, before she hears a loud crack, and she's falling down through the ice. She hears them shouting before she's completely submerged under the freezing water. It takes her a moment to register whats happening before the current of the water is pushing her backwards.

 _No going back now,_ She thinks, and she hasnt been this happy since before her brother passed. She thinks she should be panicking, but she isn't. In fact she feels quite at peace with the whole situation.

Although almost suddenly she isn't at peace, because she sees her brother in the water, whose body is completely rotten, and he's reaching for her. She screams, even though she knows no one can hear. Her body starts to become heavy then, and she's fighting to keep her eyes open, when she just stops.

She blacks out

* * *

She expects never to wake up again, to fall into the black abiss of death or wherever people go when they die.

But she wakes up.

The first sight she sees is his dark brown eyes gazing down at her, and then it's his smile, the smile that shines brighter then the sun.

 _Archie saved me,_ she thinks with pure adoration and her heart beats faster, like it has been for the past three or so months. She feels him stroking her cheek, softly, and she's never been more thankful for how sweet he really is. Her fingers curl into his shirt, and he picks her up, bridal style, and carries her back. She tucks her head into his neck, and knows this is as close to having him as she'll ever get.

* * *

 _ **fin.**_


End file.
